Now, first breathe…breathe and calm your worried nerves about what I just said. I know many in the Natural hair community hate that statement….you know the one,
Natural hair ain’t for everybody.
Yea, too many of us have heard this time and time again and most would not agree but I’m here to really delve into this feeling that many relaxed black women has said as well as feel. Maybe it’s not for everybody and I’m here to tell you why.
Going natural or returning Natural is a personal journey….a private one that one must decide to do for themselves. Now some are pushed into this due to hair loss, illness, a bad perm or other very valid reasons. Despite those reasons the vast majority decide to go Natural even though they don’t have to. It’s a conscious decision that some don’t realize require some real work and effort.
Work? I mean actual WORK. Yes, there is work going Natural because many of us haven’t seen our Natural hair since we were little girls and even then we were not fooling with it. Our mothers were doing our hair and my mother was doing me and my sister’s. First she was dealing with it in the natural state and then getting our hair flat-ironed. By the time I was 13 and my sister was 12, we had made it to the beauty salon and getting our first perm. It was a freedom I had never felt before as my hair was silky, flowing and blowing in the wind. Then came the bad hair maintenance mistakes that plagued me until high school where I finally mastered this permed hair.
Many of us have been permed for years, decades and even applying weaves, color and the like to our hair. Pretty soon we were experts with permed hair. So why do many feel that all those years of learning how to work with permed hair, that learning how to deal with Natural hair will be easy or quick? Now, I know many already know it won’t be easy so you hear some say it ain’t for everybody. Whether you big chop or transition you will run into problems.
If you transition you must work two textures of hair and only one is familiar to you. If you big chop you must instantly learn how to work with this new hair that grows out of your head. More often then not you’ve never even seen or remember what your natural hair looked like. There are pitfalls along the way and if you aren’t willing to work through them all…you will fail. If a relaxed woman does not want to fool with new techniques then she will fail. If a relaxed woman cannot wait to find what products work for her through trial and error she will fail. If a relaxed woman is looking for ONLY one type of natural hair more than likely she will fail. See the pattern?
If you are not mentally prepared to learn a new way of doing your hair then you are not ready for being a Natural haired woman. If you will only be Natural as long as there is a weave covering your head then you are not ready to be a Natural woman. If you are not willing to wait for your Natural hair to change from relaxed or straight styles and come into it’s own then you are not ready to be a Natural woman.
This journey is a beautiful one. A change in style for some but for me and quite a few others it’s a change in ourselves. My hair is more than just hair to me and just because I feel that way does not mean everyone else feels that way too. What I was willing to do to get to where I am now, 11 years Natural, had it’s own ups and downs but I wanted to be here. Not everyone is ready or willing to do that. We as hard core Naturals need to accept and respect that.
So, the next time you hear that annoying sentence just remember what they are REALLY saying.
It’s a beautiful Natural journey,