No, we don’t. I bring this up because a couple of days ago on Facebook a poster was going OFF on Natural hair bloggers, vloggers, and Youtubers for acting like they have all the answers on Natural hair. We were labeled as hypocrites, never having doubts about this Natural hair journey and we consider ourselves experts on everything about being Natural. I had to think about her statements a little deeper because I really wanted to grasp her anger for two reasons. One: Where was this coming from? Two: There were too many on the post agreeing with her and I had know why. Were some of us really being snotty, shitty or know-it-alls?
I’ve never really shared too deeply about my Natural hair journey. I’ve mentioned it and discussed some portions but I never delved into the unsure Sabrina that was lurking around before and during the beginning. I permed my hair for the last time in August 2005 right before Hurricane Katrina tore into the Gulf Coast. Afterward, we found ourselves temporarily homeless so we moved our little family to Colorado. I went from a humid climate to a rather dry one and although I had serious stress during that time in my life I still found time to be worried about my hair. I didn’t want it to fall out so I ditched the perming and decided to go Natural.
I wasn’t a “here I am, I’m a natural woman!!” back then. Back then I was sporting braids and wigs and covering my tresses 100% of the time. I did that for about three years always wanting to go all naturale but not mentally ready. Yes, back then there weren’t that many of us and yes, I was self-conscious, unsure…just really not ready to expose myself to the world.
My husband and sister told me to just do it already and even explained that my hair looked nice. Despite their insistence whenever I did take a break from the braids and wigs and stepped outside of my comfort zone (my house) I made sure to cover my tresses. Was I a chicken? Sure, but I had no knowledge on how to take care of my hair and what products to use.
I had done a big chop even though it had no name back then and had ultra short hair. I found some curl hydration crap on a shelf in Target and slathered it in my hair while sporting a scarf as a headband. Then on one frightful day in October of 2008 I bore my hair and my soul to the world. Luckily, the world was inviting. I walked into work and I was showered with “ahs” and “oohs” by mostly white co-workers. Even the meanest of the meanest supervisors smiled a genuine smile and told me she loved my hair. It was the reaction I so needed.
I needed the love, the like, the acceptance. I was unsure, insecure, and afraid. Yes, seasoned Naturals had or HAVE doubts, fears, and failures but those failures have led us to successes and valuable knowledge on what to do and how to do it. Do we know everything there is to know about Natural hair? Hell no, but we have been where you are right now and have learned how to overcome the obstacles that some may be facing. It was HARD to be Natural when there weren’t many around to gain support, knowledge and acceptance. So yes, that does make us a little rough around the edges but the love is still there.
I’m not making excuses for the rudeness, the shortness or the nastiness that some receive from seasoned Naturals. I’m giving my take on what it was like for me and why some may be unwilling to share that dark past. There may be a lasting hurt and insecurity back there when being Natural wasn’t so accepted. It may be hard for some to admit they were afraid or worried about how they looked or even that they felt alone. It’s not always easy to look into your soul and admit you were unsure about this Natural path we feel so strongly about now.
So, what is my point? My point is many of us have been where you are today and if some are ugly about it then just brush it off and take it in stride. We aren’t ALL like that and I guarantee you will find many to help you and understand your plight. I envy your chance to go Natural when there are tons of products, advice and support to guide you. Am I bitter? Not at all because I am the confident Natural I am today because I was the clueless Natural eight years ago. My past is my past and it makes me stronger everyday. So the best advice I can give to those feeling anger from some seasoned naturals:
Ignore the hate, embrace the love and enjoy the journey.
Living, loving and learning Naturals,
I absolutely loved this post Sabrina!I remember going natural when I was 17 while in high school because my hair was breaking off very badly at the time, and not having the slightest idea what to do with my hair. It was very frustrating and a bit depressing needing to be natural for the sake of not going bald, but at the same time having to walk around with "ugly' hair as some of my peers would say. It was hard, so as soon as my hair reached shoulder length, I relaxed. I remember loving to wear my hair in puffs and Afrocentric styles, but I just couldn't handle all the ridicule at the time. It's crazy to have so many people, a lot of whom I don't know, come up to me and tell me I have such beautiful hair when some 17 yrs. ago, I had "ugly" hair. A lot of the people that ragged on my hair in school are saying they love my hair as well. I love my hair now, and I wouldn't care if no one else liked it. Being natural is such a simple thing, yet so complex due to the struggle we've had to go through to get to this point. I wouldn't trade this journey for anything. I've discovered so many things about myself and have come into my own completely. Thanks again for such a great post. I always love reading your thoughts on different situations going on in the world.
Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words. You brought me back to high school with your painful memory and I know how bad it was to have nappy hair was back then. It was like the boogie man that no black girl ever wanted to be associated with. I am so grateful to be no longer tied to LYE. Loving and nurturing my own tresses is a wonderful journey that I wish all black women would turn to. Thanks again for commenting and sharing.
I. I guess growing up in California was a blessing. Ino one here trips about natural hair. My daughter has been natural since birth in 1990. She always got attention from people fascinated with her long thick Senegalese Twists. I've been natural since 1992 when I gave up relaxers. People here wear dreds, afros, braids, weaves, relaxers, wigs, whatever. Even the white people. So it's always been a freedom to do, be an wear whatever makes you happy. No judgment or ridicule like I hear comes even today, from black folks in southern states.
That's great you have had such a great experience but to say that only black folks in Southern states have negative things to say is kinda ridiculous. There are ignorant or self-loathing black people all over this country. I'm sure there are some lurking around in Cali as well. We just need to embrace our natural selves and not lay blame on a geographical location.
Thanks for commenting.