I’m sorry but it needs to be said. Some of us in the Natural haired community are driving a wedge between the whole lot with this constant quest to define, find, or make some damn curls in their hair! There’s no other way to describe this other than chasing the curl dragon. It is so unnecessary and a little disheartening…
I understand. You are a newly Natural or thinking about going Natural. You want or expect your hair to look a certain way. You want an instant halo of cascading curls that will make you feel better about yourself for taking such a drastic step with your hair. Having curls will shut your family, friends, and/or significant other up about going Natural. You can then shout in their faces that you have curly hair and NOT nappy hair. Oh, don’t act like you don’t know what the I’m talking about.
Now don’t get me wrong. Some of us have curly hair or coily hair. We get admirers saying all the time that they would go Natural if their hair would do that but why the hell is that even a point to be made? Why does it have to curl for you to embrace it? OK, OK…maybe this post isn’t supposed to be that deep but the point still remains…stop looking for curls if you don’t have them. Here are a few pointers to remember:
No, there are no products that will make your hair curl.
No, the curly girl method will not make your hair curl.
Yes, you can do twist out and braid outs to get a wave or a curly pattern.
Yes, you will still be beautiful without curly hair.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it needs to be said that not everyone has curly or coily hair. If that’s the ONLY reason you went Natural you will be sorely disappointed. There is too much emphasis on this and we gotta stop it. Loving what is growing out of your head is the object here as well as getting away from chemicals. Our hair is so versatile so just try the thousands of styles that YouTube is full of. You would be surprised.
So don’t be mad at me for stating the obvious but once you come to terms with yourself and your hair you will be a happier Natural.
Loving all of you Naturals,
I hear ya! I went natural because a relaxer caused me to lose a lot of my hair. I had no idea what my curls would look like and I didn't care. My thoughts were that whatever grew out of my head was better then being bald.
I agree. I had no idea what my natural hair looked like either. I had moved to a drier climate and didn't want my hair to fall out using relaxers. Just grateful for not going bald as well.
This is funny because I id a you tube vid about the separation between curly girls and afro queens, it is sickening to see how the 'movement' has created a divide again. Now we got product junkies trying to keep curls stretched out, elongated..with ..huh 'less ''shrinkage' I'm a natural hair stylist and it sickens me when these clients come in with all the catch phrases they learned from You Tube lawyers, doctors, psychotherapists moonlighting as 'professional' hair stylists. I wish it was as simple as Ultra Sheen hair grease and Vo5 hot oil treatments.. I hope this Dragon gets killed soon..
LOL!! Why do always have to have some division in our community? I just don't understand it. I embrace my shrinkage and don't worry about. So many are spending so much time and money fighting with their hair instead of enjoying it and just allowing it to 'be'.
I love my hair just as it is. I use different products to see what will happen. That's it. I don't have any big expectations just don't want it to be dry.
I totally agree. That and hair down to their asses. Drives me crazy. If anything I am a curly girl and want to reduce the frizz factor but not eliminate all together because that is what helps give my hair volume. Don't get me wrong, I love my curls and pretty much stopped WNG'ing for quite some time. Now having my curls back, I get the "Oh, how did you get your hair to do that", "I thought they were a straw set", Oh you got good hair" But I can frizz this in to a nicely packed afro as well. People don't understand the versatility of natural hair and what ever kind of hair you have… Just Own It!
My main concern is keeping the frizz away as well. I don't know why we can't get our shit together.
Thanks for writing this piece. My recent post in back to natural was about this. It is driving me crazy with everything people are saying about curls and shrinkage. I like the product knowledge but the complaints are killing my buzz.
I really don't see shrinkage as that big of a deal. why is length EVERYTHING??? I am right up there with you…sick to death of it.
So so true for me this" obsession curls" is the same thing with the "straighness"; I have the impression that some may go natural to have good length in order to pressed their hair or blow dry it (DOMINICAN WAY OR BRAZILIAN WAY). I THINK THAT ABOVE ALL WE MUST LOVE, ACCEPT AND RESPECT OUR HAIR THE WAY IT IS; God Bless;
Yea…that brizilian blowout is dangerous and all that heat ain't good for your hair either.
I won't be using it that's for sure.
Captured my sentiments!