Not everyone is your friend. Some folks are not going to like you and will feel the need to tell you. Why? Who knows but it seems to be rampant to hear negativity about our natural hair pretty often whether in print or in person. I get it…not everyone loves our natural hair…hell, we have naturals that don’t even like natural hair that does not look a certain way.
This world is flawed. This country is flawed and the world’s consensus perception of beauty is beyond skewed. Because of that you find more people feeling the need to share their opinion on your style.
Too many unsolicited opinions flop out of faces that truly need to be reeled back in, so if you tire of simple folks (or even complicated ones) giving an uninvited or rude opinion here are a few ways to reply.
Smile, stare them squarely in the eye and ask, “Who asked you?”
Curt, to the point and correct. If you receive an unsolicited opinion that is neither favorable to you nor pleasantly received, remind the individual you did not ask their opinion on you, your hair or your goals in life! Too many folks think outside of their heads. Leave a little mystery or better yet, just leave.
“I wear my hair for me. Not for others”.
Isn’t it the truth? I mean we do wear our hair, put on makeup, wear stylish clothing to look good for ourselves and others but in the grand scheme of things we are not caring if the whole lot we run across during our day is happy with our choices. If someone is rude enough to say a negative comment about your hair, should you really care what they think from then on about it? Naw, didn’t think so.
“I have evolved from a relaxed woman to a natural one.”
Ouch! This is clearly for the comments that come from relaxed women who feel the need to share what they think about you. So, I say take it a place that lets them know you find their choices un-evolved. Not nice. Well think about what came out of your face and see who really the ‘not nice one’ is.
Many naturals tire of hearing these salty relaxed women telling us our hair is “unkempt”, “looks bad” or “too nappy”. The even sadder part is some of those same words are being uttered by other naturals. Your perception of what is unkempt is just that…yours so keep it moving and do not label me due to your lack of evolving for all forms of beauty.
I’ll be here when you jump on the bandwagon. See you soon”.
Hey, you know many will so why not say it? Hundreds if not thousands of once relaxed women are transitioning, big chopping and sharing the glory of natural hair. It’s the best boo, so I get the rise in numbers and those that feel the need to hate can hate until they are asking me what products I use as they jump on #teamnatural’s overflowing bandwagon.
Stare, glare and then walk away.
Some folks aren't even worth the words…especially if you are in a place or peace of mind where your true response will NOT be received well. That day could be the day to really have you go ham so just walk away and let them feel you genuinely did not care for their ugliness. Great for church, work and the grocery store.
The stare and glare too subtle for you? Well, this may get the point across with some body language and a dismissal. Great for family members, co-workers and ex-lovers who can make this turn into something worse if not handled properly.
Let them know you do not particularly care for their hair either.
Yea, if you are in that kind of mood and got to share the love, then do so. Sometimes you have to dish it right back especially if this is not the first time they felt the need to share their unappreciated opinion. When they get hit in the face with the very say insult they tend to see just how wrong and hurtful their words have been.
“And your opinion matters, why?”
Another nice/nasty response that lets them know in no uncertain terms you care not what they think or feel about your tresses. This is great for strangers since they need to know with a quickness they crossed a line. Strangers can sometimes be the worst!
“Let me be me, and I’ll let you be you”.
Great for someone who just cannot seem to keep their unappreciated opinion to themselves. You have to privy to nasty looks, questions on when you are going back relaxed or why you like it that way. It gets old and they never know when let it go and accept your choices.
“I’m not feeling your negativity so please take that sh*t somewhere else.”
Boom. The truth shall set you free. This is not a good day to mess with me and I’m done with your shit….thank you! Need I say more?
Brush that negativity off Naturals,