Thursday, December 8, 2011

What's good for me may not be good for you...(Part 2)


Conclusion from yesterday's post, What's good for me may not be good for you...(Part 1)

Needless to say....I caved.  I mean, it's her hair.  I choose what to do with mine and at the tender age of sixteen (even though in my mind she still looks like the little girl in the picture above) she should be making some decisions about her appearance.  She doesn't wear makeup or skanky clothes so I should be grateful.  I am, I am but she's got split ends!  She doesn't take as good a care of her hair as I do with mine but she promised to be more careful with wearing her satin bonnets and sealing her ends.  All I can say is we'll see.

So, here I am trying to come to terms with her growing up and wanting what she wants as opposed to what I think is best for her.   Even though this is a mother daughter thing, it applies to most relationships we may have with other people in our lives. 

We, the Naturals, may have family members or friends who don't like our hair.  It could be an older Aunt, a younger cousin or even our spouse.  Whoever that person is we need to respect their likes as well as asking them to respect ours.  They don't have to like Natural hair.  It's not a requirement to being Black even though some of us in the Natural haired community feel that it is.  I was Black when I was relaxed and I'm still Black now that I'm Natural.  Yes, I feel more connected to my blackness by going Natural, but I didn't gain an extra layer of Blackness because of it.

So, learn from my mistake on this subject.  Not everyone is gonna think what we think is right or even sane.   Sometimes we're actually wrong or what we like is wrong for someone else.  Whatever the scenario remember it takes all kinds to keep this world interesting and yes that includes hair!  I'm just glad we came to terms with our differences and I let go of my notions on what's best to allow her to find out for herself. 

Stay connected Naturals,

1 comment

  1. I can understand what you are saying. My daughter and I struggle with hair styles more than anything concerning her hair. She just turned 11 but she loves her curly hair for now and for that I am thankful. We did have the debate about having bangs but it was short lived. She has been exposed to people who have hair that is heat damaged and also people who have had damage from chemicals or lack of care so she does know what can happen. I think seeing that has helped to keep her desires to use heat on her hair at bay.


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