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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

What's good for me may not be good for you...(Part 1)



(origin)

We are all different.  We don't see ourselves the same way a stranger or even a loved one may see us.  Being unique is such a good thing and so is having your own mind, but sometimes it can cause conflict among family and friends. 

The picture above explains more than I can ever imagine.  I see the little girl in the background doing her own thing and her mother frustrated.  It's pretty representative of what's going on in my house right now.


Now, I understand I have a sixteen year old daughter, but when I look at her I see the little girl in the picture above with the big Afro puff on top of her head.  I see the little girl who didn't question my judgement nor wanted reasons for my actions.  I see my baby girl.  Is that so bad?  Yea, it kinda is.  She's 16!  She's got her own tastes and dreams and wishes and style....she's not me and I'm not her.  I think you can see where this is going.

She's NOT me and I'm not her.  That normally doesn't cause us many problems but it has in regards to her hair.  Now, don't get me wrong.  She's quite happy being Natural.  She just wants her hair flat ironed WAAAAY more than I would like and this issue finally came to a head a few weeks ago.

I didn't expect to push my 'no heat' philosophy on her but I did limit how often she applied heat.  It wasn't enough to her.  I thought a couple (or more) times a year would suffice.  I mean...her hair is getting so long and gorgeous but just like me she deals with tons of shrinkage!  When her hair is straight it's BSL.  When curly it's almost APL.  Of course she likes the longer length and hates shrinkage and of course this caused problems for us and we had a huge blowout over her controlling her own hair.  Ouch....I wasn't ready for that.

You can read the remainder of this post in tomorrow's Part 2.

Sabrina
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4 comments

  1. Oh my, I can't wait to read it. My oldest didn't beginning straightening her hair on a regular basis until later in high school. She's in college now and started out straight, spent months curly then straight all the time now she's back to curly and thinking about locking her hair again! My youngest has BSL (uh, what's APL) and she's only 6. She loves her hair straightened. The one lady who did it so beautifully actually damaged and burned a few sections of her hair and when I do it it doesn't last. She normally wears it braided, in two-strand twists or twist outs. She wants her hair to grow to waist length so I'm trying to help her keep it curly. I hope I don't have to fight her (my oldest was easy!) when she's a teenager.


    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Petula, It can be so hard being the mother of a teenage daughter, can't it? One minute it seems like the relationship is easy as all get out then it turns ugly without notice. I'm tired of fighting with her and want the best for her but feel she must find out on her own.

    Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I go through the same issues with my teenage daughter. One minute straight using Brazilian Keratin treatment( I just found her that some brands contain formaldehyde - the ones she uses claims that there's none). Next she is curly. My limits are that she must use all natural products, most of them I make myself. She also change her hair color with pure henna, alkanet, madder root, lemon juice. I'm kinda enjoying the changes!

    Michelle Blackwood
    My blog

    ReplyDelete
  4. Michelle, I'd love to use your receipe with the henna, alkanet and madder root, lemon juice.

    ReplyDelete

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