Back when I first took this blogging journey, I truly felt the majority of the negative talk or flack that Natural haired women endured came from relaxed women. OK, OK, maybe that’s not fair to say that’s all I thought it came from but mostly. I knew a lot came from family members, significant others or even strangers but I truly felt a huge portion came from relaxed women for various reasons. Whether they thought Natural hair was ugly, unprofessional or felt Naturals looked down on them. Whatever the reason you couldn’t have made me think I was wrong.
Well, I’m here to tell you I was DEAD wrong.
I am now seeing that quite a few Naturals are hating on OTHER Naturals. What? Yea….I meant what I said. I’m seeing quite a few of us spewing negative comments about one another and I can’t believe what I’m reading whether it’s on Twitter, FB or other blogs. It’s quite disturbing.
I don’t wanna call anyone out personally but earlier this week on Twitter a Natural was voicing her opinion about Natural haired women who are looking rough. I was taken aback for a minute cause this chick is Natural! I guess I still think we all play nice in the Natural world but that ain’t true. I wrote a post a couple of months ago called, What is beautiful to me?, discussing pretty much the same thing. Where is all this negativity COMING from?
When I first went Natural, my curl pattern wasn’t defined nor did I have a clue on what products to use on my hair. Where would I be if I was in those early days of my Natural hair journey and saw another Natural eyeing me with a really stank look or told me I looked a hot mess? I’d probably be relaxed again…
My sister went completely Natural almost a year ago and she had been getting her hair pressed (flat ironed) for about two years before that. Anyway, by the time she decided to leave the pressing alone her hair wasn’t curling. She did the wash and go and had to scrunch her hair to achieve some body. It was cute and spunky but she was unsure of it. Some may have thought it was ugly but I loved it and even if it was not looking so great, why would I hate on her? She was in the early stages of going Natural and nothing happens overnight!
What I consider beautiful may not be the same to you, or you or you….(assume I’m pointing to a room of Naturals) I love wild, crazy and free hair. I am not a fan of protective styles but that doesn’t mean they are ugly, or look bad. I’m not a fan of Fros but when I see a Natural with one I merely smile and just truly happy to see another Natural around. Why does my Natural hair have to look good TO YOU? Who are YOU? Isn’t that negativity exactly what we DON’T want from others who don’t like Natural hair? I’m so surprised and truly confused by some of these women who are doing this!
Come on Naturals. You don’t have to like every Natural’s hair out there but do we have to say it’s a ‘mess’ or ‘rough’ or ‘not styled’ because it’s not the way we would wear it? I think we need to step back and remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You don’t have to like what every Natural is rocking. You just gotta realize she may be loving it or she just may be working on it. Hell, she could merely be having a bad hair day. Personally, I don’t see ugly or rough Natural hair styles out there. I only see creativity and self-acceptance. Can’t you?
Going Natural can be hard enough without us tearing one another down. Our Natural haired community may be the only positive or kind words a new Natural is hearing. You don’t have to like my hair. You just gotta respect it.
Stay respectful Naturals,