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TRANSITIONING….the 2nd phase

Yes, there is more than one transitioning period.  The first one is well known and most blogs will address it’s existence as well as ways to make it a smoother and less traumatising experience. The second transitioning…the one where one must acknowledge the hairs that grow out of their head takes another leap of faith that one will not only accept but love their naturalness.

When I decided to stop treating my natural hair as a place to attach braids, ponytails as well as sew-in weaves, I was ready to accept whatever was naturally growing out of my head.  That’s not so easy.  I mean….every black woman who decides to take on the challenge of relearning or learning for the first time how to properly tend to her tresses in their natural form has some idea of how their hair will look.  Your idea may be far off from the truth.  I’m here to tell you that it may be a while before you actually see what your hair can achieve.


My hair was dry as hell!  I mean disgustingly dry!  Years of treating it poorly were telling on me.  I was using semi-good products.  I had stumbled upon Miss Jessie’s Line and  thought they were the best but I hadn’t really done that much research back then.  Curly Pudding as well as Rapid Recovery were my staple products and I wasn’t co-washing yet.  Only wetting the hair and it wasn’t enough.  (Man, I didn’t have a clue!)  Anyway, my hair was in a different place back then.  It didn’t even LOOK the same.

I remember way back when my hubby saw me putting Curly Pudding in my hair on one particular morning and felt the need to crush my soul.  OK, not really but I don’t think he knew how much it would hurt.  He told me my hair wasn’t like my daughter’s.  I just looked at him.  I tried to conceal my hurt.  Where was that coming from?  Was he just trying to make me see that my hair was different?  I wasn’t complaining about my hair.  I was just doing my regular regimen at the time.  I never asked why he told me that but he’s not a mean man so I know he thought he was helping.

My daughter’s hair is a mass of gorgeous curls….I mean GORGEOUS!  I didn’t think my hair was like hers and I was OK with that.  Well, within a year Sabrina got her research on and started co-washing, sealing my ends, being kind to my hair and what the hell???????  My hair is EXACTLY like miss beautiful up there.

What does this all mean?  Well, just like you had to train your hair to wrap you gotta train it to be Natural.  Remember training it to wrap?  Well, it’s the same damn thing with Natural hair.  My hair was used to chemicals.  It wasn’t used to being treated well, treated kindly, treated with respect.  My hair took awhile to find itself.  It took about a damn year to figure itself out and it  would have been a shorter time if I would have known what the hell I was doing!  My sister went Natural about seven months ago and her hair has started looking like mine and my daughter’s and it wasn’t doing that initially.  

The majority of the women going Natural won’t know what their hair will end up looking like or feeling like until they’ve been doing this for a good amount of time.   Here’s a few good reminders for you:

BE PATIENT cause it’s gonna take time.

BE LOVING to those confused strands of hair

BE SMART ABOUT IT and get your research on!


BE UNDERSTANDING that not everyone will like what’s going on with you and your hair.  

Been there and done that and really wanna be here for you in your quest to find that Natural sista waiting to come out. 



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